The Bearded Belly Chronicles-Chapter Chapter Twelve – Hoodie On, Head High

Chapter Twelve  – Hoodie On, Head High

In the Numbers 📊

Starting weight: 159.7kg ⚖️
Weight last Friday: 143.7kg ⏳
Weight today: 143kg 🎉
Total lost: –16.7kg

This week, I fasted for 147 hours and 7 minutes — which, for context, is longer than it takes to watch all 10 Fast & Furious films back-to-back… twice. Vin Diesel would be proud.

I also drank another 38.25 litres of water, taking this year's total to 477.15 litres ..... enough to fill my bathtub nearly six times.

A Full Stomach, A Quiet Mind

Buffets and I have history. Dangerous, messy, delicious history.

On Saturday, we travelled over to Derby for some belated birthday celebrations for my father in law, back to Cosmo once again. I was slightly dreading this one, even more than the last time Jess, the boys and I went. Being in a larger group, I was worried I'd slip back into old habits and use the distraction of there being loads of us to sneak in plate after plate, unnoticed.

We arrived at the restaurant, only to find one of Jess's sisters had been delayed, so we didn't sit down for nearly 45 minutes. That wait ramped up my anxiety around the food... or so I thought. But weirdly, having that time to just sit and think actually helped. My mind had gone into overdrive, picturing all the dishes I might lose control with, but when it came to it, I felt something different.

By the time we got to the table, I felt surprisingly calm. The donut shaped devil was nowhere to be seen or heard. Maybe he was off whispering temptations to someone else near the Chocolate fountain. 

I waited until everyone had returned from their first round before heading up for a small plate of food, which was genuinely lovely. I took my time with it, chatted, drank some water, and checked in with myself. Then I went for round two. A steaming bowl of beef ramen that filled up most of the space in my stomach and left me feeling warm and satisfied. I could have stopped there, but with 40 minutes left of our hour and a half sitting, I decided to go up one last time for a plate of curry. And that was me, finished.

No chaos. No shame. Just food I enjoyed and a moment of pride I hadn't expected.

I left the restaurant feeling pleased, and more importantly, in complete control. I didn't glance at anyone else's leftovers and feel the twitch in my fingers to pinch a chip or scoop up something with no one noticing. I walked out with my head high and my stomach full, not bursting. Yes, I might have indulged a little more than I needed, but for the first time in a long time, I was in charge.

This felt like a proper hurdle that  for now I am happy to be leaving behind in the rear view mirror!

Saturday Night Lifts and Laughs

Saturday evening, I wanted to build on my gym trip from earlier in the week. So, gym clothes on, headphones packed, and off I went in the car to give it another go.

The gym was just as packed as it had been on Monday evening, but this time, something was different. No internal chatter trying to convince me to turn around. No spiralling thoughts. Just a calm focus as I walked in, nodded to myself, and headed straight for the treadmill to warm up.

I had planned for this visit to be more about weights, which is where things got interesting. If I'm honest, my knowledge of gym weight machines is about as developed as my understanding of the economic situation in Peru ....... which is to say, almost non-existent.

I wandered over, scanned a few diagrams like I was decoding ancient hieroglyphics, and gave a few machines a cautious try. I kept things simple, didn't push too far, and just focused on learning what moved what. A few times I stood near something and pretended I knew what I was doing until someone else used it and I could copy.

But you know what? I stayed. I moved. I lifted. I didn't get stuck, tangled, or need assistance from a passing PT to escape from a rogue cable machine. For an hour and a half, I gave it my best ..... and I walked out feeling proud.

It might not have been a Rocky montage, but it was mine. Quiet progress, no drama, and one step closer to figuring it all out.

Mother's Day: The Anchor

Mother's Day. A chance to celebrate the anchor of our family, the woman who quietly keeps us all moving in the right direction, even when the winds are wild and the tide is pulling hard.

Jess is a loving and caring mother who always puts the boys first. Her life isn't easy, but she gets on with it without fail. She lives in a house with three neurodiverse males, each with completely different needs and triggers, yet somehow she manages to pivot, adapt, and show up for all of us. Every single day.

She has had to mould herself in ways no one ever saw. She has had to learn how to deal with me at my worst, including times when I would spend all our excess money, and then some, on takeaways and binge eating. That kind of pressure could break a person. But she stood by me. And Jess, I know I do not say this enough, but I see you. The boys see you. We know we are hard work. We know we test you. And still, you remain the anchor that keeps us moored on the stormiest days.

We celebrated the day in a way that meant something special to her. When I was eighteen, all those years ago, I worked as a youth worker in the village of Alton. When I first passed my driving test and me and Jess got together, this was one of the first places I ever took her for a walk. Since then, we have gone back at least once every year, visiting Toot Hill and the Ramblers Retreat. That little village now holds a permanent place in both our hearts. So many smiles. So many laughs. So many memories. And I really hope we never stop going back.

We walked seven miles around the area. My weight made parts of it tough, especially the climb up the side of Toot Hill that, in my younger years, I could jog up without thinking. But despite the puffing and pausing, I enjoyed every step. Being there again with Jess and the boys, building more memories in a place that means so much, it was exactly how Mother's Day should be.

Monday Mindset

I do not know if it was the wins over the weekend or the quality family time, but I went into Monday feeling ready. Properly ready. Like I was raring to face the week with energy I have not felt in a long time.

I knew I had a lot of travel ahead ... Lincolnshire, Wiltshire, Suffolk... which meant hours on the road, passing motorway services and fast food outlets left and right. But weirdly, I was not phased. It felt like I was stepping into the week wearing a suit of armour and a set of invisible ear defenders. I could hear the temptation calling, but I was completely tuned out. I was not going to be defeated by any urges.

And to be fair, with my hydration where it should be and my mindset in a really positive place, there has not even been a battle to report back on. No drive through disasters. No snack sneaking. Just calm, focused progress.

That said, I may have gone a little too hard on the gym equipment over the weekend. Or done it completely wrong. Either way, it took until this morning for the ache in my arms and chest to finally ease off. I have not been back yet this week, but I am definitely feeling up for it again once I have published this out to you all.

Sometimes the wins are not loud or flashy. Sometimes they are just quiet mornings without cravings, clear roads without detours, and a sore chest that reminds you... you are still showing up.

The Week Ahead

I'm looking forward to the next seven days, and I hope that when I write to you next week, this warm, positive glow I feel right now is still with me.

Tomorrow is our monthly family “Yes Day” and this time, Ewan's in charge. He's chosen swimming and a trip to see the new Minecraft movie. Solid choices, to be fair.

Jess is out on Sunday which means it's just me and the boys. I'm hoping for some proper smiles and fun… even if they don't realise yet that we're absolutely going for a walk.

My work week is packed but full of good energy. I'm starting off by meeting one of my most engaged franchise partners, then hosting a potential new partner for two days in wales, and ending the week with a visit to our newest partner in Lincolnshire.

There will be challenges as I'm away from home for two nights, but I'm going to carry this weekend's sense of happiness and health with me like invisible armour.

I'm heading into the week with a hoodie, a gym bag, and a bit of momentum ....and with Jess keeping me grounded, I'll be back next week with more stories, more laughs, and maybe even a few small wins.