The Man Behind the Beard (and the Belly)
Chapter One: The Man Behind the Beard (and the Belly)
Hi all, I’m Ian. I’m a 36-year-old man from Tamworth in the West Midlands, and, to put it bluntly, I’m morbidly obese. This journey is starting after a long battle with my weight, or rather, my weight always winning the battle.
But that’s why I’m here now. I need to make a change, and through writing to you once a week, my aim is to stay grounded and accountable. So, if you’re ready for a story full of ups, downs, and everything in between, join me for the ride. And please, keep me accountable along the way.
The Turning Point
Believe it or not, my turning point wasn’t recent. It happened in December 2013. My son, Ewan, was just three months old, and I was determined not to be “the fat dad in the playground.” What a year 2014 turned out to be. I managed to drop from 26 stone to 14 stone in just six months.
At the time, it felt like a huge victory, but looking back, I realise that I became obsessive. I avoided family meals, was incredibly restrictive, and lost sight of the real reason I wanted to lose weight: to be present with my new family.
Even at my lowest weight, body dysmorphia was at play. Photos would show a leaner version of me, but all I could see was the same “fat dad” I was desperate to avoid being.
Fast forward, and the weight started fluctuating. By 2017, I settled around 17 stone. I was running, getting faster, and feeling okay, until life threw me a curveball in 2021.
The Battle Behind the Scenes
In 2021, chronic pain hit me where it hurts most (literally). For two years, I battled through sleepless nights, self-medicating, and surviving on sugar, caffeine, and processed food just to function during the day. The NHS offered little help, so Jess, my wife, pushed us to go private. Three appointments later, the pain was gone.
But during those two years, a new battle emerged: binge eating. It was secretive, compulsive, and spiralling out of control. I was spending nearly £300 a month on takeaways, putting our family finances in jeopardy. Jess knew, she always knew, and, after a lot of arguments, I finally sought help.
The NHS diagnosed me with binge eating disorder. At first, I couldn’t believe it. Like many people, I had an image of eating disorders as something petite women deal with, not a 25-stone man. But counselling helped. I learned coping mechanisms, and though I know this disorder will always be a part of me, I’m taking it one day at a time.
Where I Am Now
On January 1st, I decided enough was enough. I stepped on the scales and saw 25 stone 4 pounds, the heaviest I’ve been in 11 years. That was my wake-up call.
Since then, I’ve been facing my challenges head-on. My job means I’m constantly passing fast-food places, and the self-control required is draining, but I’m determined to push through.
For the past three weeks, I’ve been following the 16:8 intermittent fasting plan and focusing on staying hydrated. And let me tell you, drinking 5 litres of water a day has been a struggle, but I’m getting there.
My Goals
This time, I’m not chasing a specific number on the scale. My goals are:
1. To lose weight sustainably and avoid the obsessive behaviours I fell into in the past.
2. To become a fitter, healthier father and husband.
3. To see and feel the differences my hard work is making.
4. To not fixate on calorie counts but instead build a balanced, healthy lifestyle.
How I’m Feeling
So far, I’ve felt good. In the past three weeks, I haven’t had a single binge-eating episode, which is a huge victory for me. That said, I’m a bit concerned about losing weight too quickly. I’ve already dropped 1 stone 4 pounds. I need to ensure I’m eating enough to avoid falling into old habits.
Writing this isn’t easy, but I know it’s necessary. I’ve spent years feeling embarrassed and ashamed of how out of control my eating and health had become. But I also know I’m not alone.
To any men out there who feel the same, know this: it’s okay. It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to talk about it. Sharing and connecting with others helps more than you realise
What’s Next?
I’d love to hear from anyone else on their own journey. Whether you’ve just started or have been at it for a while, let’s support each other. Together, we can make progress, one step at a time.
Here’s to becoming the man behind the beard, without the belly. See you next week.
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