The Bearded Belly Chronicles: Chapter Three Baring It All – The Week I Stopped Hiding

Progress at a Glance

Weight lost this week: 1.4 kg

Total weight lost so far: 10.4 kg

Weight Today : 149.5 kg 

10.4 kg dropped since January 1st.

Total water consumed: 39.3 litres (or, if we’re measuring it properly, 1,572 Sambuca shots' worth—which, if taken as actual shots, would have left me either a legend or in intensive care).

Total time spent fasting: 135.7 hours, which is the entire series of Friends 1.56 times (so I could have seen Ross yell “We were on a break” at least twice).

This week has been huge. Not just for the number on the scales, but for the mental shifts, the unexpected challenges, and the moments that tested me in ways I didn’t see coming.

But most of all, this was the week I finally stopped hiding.

Facing the Mirror – The Page 3 Edition

For years, I’ve done everything possible to avoid my own reflection. Swimming in a T-shirt. Dodging cameras. Rushing to get dressed before anyone sees.

Even now, with 10.4 kg gone, I still struggle.

But this week, I did something I never thought I’d do.

I stripped down, stood there, and took a photo. No angles. No flattering lighting. Just me, exactly as I am today.

For those of you who remember the Page 3 girls...they’ve got nothing on me.

All week, I have felt sick with nerves about what I’m about to share...but here goes nothing.

Sorry if you're eating breakfast; this might put you off.

This is me. More vulnerable than I have ever been. Literally baring all and facing my biggest demon square in the face.

The moment I saw the photo, it hit like a punch to my rather large gut.

All I saw was the work left to do.

The weight I’ve lost didn’t feel like enough, and the progress I’ve made ...didn’t register

For a moment, I went to a dark place. The voice "in my head went into overdrive: "you’re still massive, you’ve got so far to go, why even bother?"

At that moment.......Jess stepped in.

Without saying a word, she hugged me, properly, fully, holding me tight, like she knew exactly what was happening in my head before I even said it out loud.

She reminded me why I’m doing this. That this is just my starting point, not my finish line. That I’m not the man in the photo forever. I’m the man who is changing.

And she’s right.

So, instead of deleting the picture like I wanted to, I’m sharing it.

Not because I love what I see, but because I refuse to pretend my progress doesn’t exist.

And if someone else out there feels the same way, ashamed, stuck, like no amount of change will ever be enough. Know this: you are not alone, and you are enough.

This is just The beginning.

Small Wins That Felt Massive

If there’s one thing I’ve realised this week, it’s that willpower isn’t just about saying no.

It’s about knowing when you’re vulnerable and choosing to protect yourself instead of testing your limits.

Case in point: supermarkets.👿

I needed to grab fruit for the boy's lunches. Normally, that means walking into enemy territory, facing the aisles filled with chocolate, biscuits, and the old habits that still lurk in my brain.

But this time, I did something different.

I asked Jess to go instead.

To most people, that might seem tiny (or lazy). But for me, it was huge. Instead of walking into a situation where I might fail because I didn’t have the energy for the battle, I chose not to fight that battle at all on this occasion. I actually opened up to Jess about how I was feeling.

And just like that, the anxiety disappeared, and I felt it made our relationship and understanding stronger.

Tommy’s Brutal Honesty and The Art of a Half-Compliment.

One morning, while lying in bed, Tommy gave me one of those brutally honest kid moments that only he could deliver.

He patted my belly, stared at me very seriously, and I could see his brain working overtime.

You know that look kids get when they’re deep in thought, and you just know whatever comes next is going to sting?

Sensing danger, I tried to steer it.

"It’s smaller than normal, isn’t it?"

A long pause. Like, suspiciously long. Then finally, he nodded.

"Yer… a little bit."

And his face? Told a different story. Pure "who are you kidding, mate" energy

Look, at least he didn’t say no. I’ll take it as a win.

The Sharing Platter That Fought Back

The highlight of my work trip? Waking up to the stunning view of the Yorkshire Dales.

The lowlight? Waking up feeling like I’d been on an all-night bender.🍻

Except I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol, just an absolutely ridiculous sharing platter to myself the night before

Turns out, food hangovers are real; my blood sugar had spiked and crashed so hard that I woke up feeling like I’d gone twelve rounds with Tyson Fury.

The drive home was brutal. My brain was screaming for greasy hangover food, but I held strong—breaking my fast at 16 hours and 30 minutes with a sandwich and fruit instead of a disaster meal.

Then I walked back into full-scale neurospicy chaos. Ewan was struggling, and after two hours of battling over literally every word spoken, my patience was gone.

Then the slip happened

As I was tidying up, I started mindlessly picking at a tray of leftover chips. I was completely zoned out like a chip eating zombie , not even registering what I was doing.

And then Jess swooped in like an absolute hero, grabbed the tray straight out of my hands, and snapped me back to reality.

That could have turned into a full-blown binge. But it didn’t. Because she was there.

Sometimes, you don’t win the battle on your own. Sometimes, someone else steps in and saves you before you even realise you need saving.

A Message That Hit Home

This week, I realised something massive . this blog isn’t just mine anymore.

At first, it was just a way for me to track my journey, to hold myself accountable, to get my thoughts out of my head and onto the page. But somehow, it’s started reaching people beyond just me.

It’s gone international. Okay, fine, I might have sent it to two family members in the U.S., but they read it, so it counts. ( let me have my moment ok ! ) 

And then my cousin Martin (yes, mate, you’ve officially made the blog) sent me a message that stopped me in my tracks:

"Our appearance doesn’t mean we aren’t loved. We get down on ourselves, but our loved ones don’t. They still love us."

That hit hard.

Because let’s be honest I’ve had those thoughts. More than once.

"How can Jess love me when I look like this?"

"How can she still find me attractive when I don’t even like myself?"

It’s something I struggle with every single day.

But then I reread Martin’s words.

Because he’s right! 

Jess doesn’t love me because of my weight or despite it. The people who matter don’t see me the way I see myself.

So, I saved Martin’s message in my phone ready for whenever I need the reminder.

Final thoughts 

This journey is about more than just numbers. It’s about breaking old habits, learning to be kinder to myself, and accepting that progress isn’t always linear.

Because some days, I’ll forget.

Some days, I’ll spiral.

Some days, I’ll convince myself I’m unlovable.

I need to accept its ok to not be okay 

And thats ok cause we all have them days  but with the help and support of those you love and those that love you will succeed.