The Bearded Belly Chronicles

The Bearded Belly Chronicles-Chapter Seven : From Poolside Panic to Fast-Food Follies: A Week of Lessons Learned In the Numbers Starting weight: 159.7kg Weight last Friday: 146.1kg Weight today: 145.7 kg This week, I fasted for 133 hours and 2 minutes. In that time, I could have watched the entire MCU in chronological order once and made it 43 minutes into Ant-Man on my second run, which is enough for: Meanwhile, I drank 31.3 Liters of water, which is enough to: Refill Groot's flowerpot 625 times And all this talk about the MCU I've been sitting here, trying to snap my fingers and have a Greggs sausage roll Appear. The Pool, The Panic, and The Truffle Shuffle Friday Afternoon: The Hotel Check-In A short drive to the hotel for our 14- year anniversary and I had booked a lovely room. I had done a very good job if I say so myself. But let's get to the real reason you're here. The Battle Begins My bum had barely hit the...

In the Numbers Starting weight: 159.7kg Weight last Friday: 148.5kg Weight today: 146.1kg ( down 2.4kg this week, 13.6kg YTD ) This week, I fasted for 133 hours and 34 minutes . In that time, I could have heroically face planted off that bucking bull 80,140 times , which is enough for: The machine to file for a restraining order The bar to rename a drink after me ( "The Flying Ian" best served with a side of regret ) I also drank 32.1 litres of water . If I had swapped that for Guinness, I would have downed 56.5 pints . Let’s just take a moment to appreciate what that actually means: Some Irish grandma would shake her head then pour me another out of sheer respect I would have attempted Riverdance, failed spectacularly, and blamed the floor There is a real chance I would have woken up in a field hugging a sheep and questioning my life choices Instead, all I got was a very confused bladder and the ability to say “I am definitely hydrated” with the confidence of a man who n...

The Bearded Belly Chronicles – Chapter Five: The Battle of the Bounce Back This Week Stats Current Weight: 148.5kg  📈 Last Week's Weight: 148.3kg 👎 Weight at the Start of the Year: 159.7kg 🚀 Hours Fasted: 133.2. That is enough time to watch Braveheart 55 times. That means fifty-five rounds of William Wallace yelling "FREEDOM", fifty-five slow-motion cavalry charges, and fifty-five chances to shake my head at the historical inaccuracies while still getting completely caught up in the drama. If I had spent my time like that, I would be wearing a kilt and painting my face blue by now.🎉   Water Drunk: 30.5 litres . That is 61 cans of Irn-Bru. Enough to fuel a small theme park, make my insides permanently orange, or give me the ability to taste colours. If I had drunk that much Irn-Bru instead of water, I would either be levitating from sheer sugar overload or legally required to list "carbonated" as my blood type.

  Progress This Week & So Far 📉 Starting Weight (Jan 1st): 159.7kg 📉 Current Weight: 148.3kg ⚖️ Total Weight Lost: 11.4 kg 🚰 Water Drank This Week: 28.7 litres ☕ That’s the equivalent of 166 standard mugs of tea ⏳ Total Fasting Time This Week: 140 hours 51 minutes 🎵 That’s enough time to listen to The Fast Food Song on repeat 1,747 times A Week in the Life of Me This week has been a full-on roller coaster, the kind that throws you through loop de loops of highs and lows , makes you question your life choices halfway through, and leaves you stumbling off at the end wondering what just happened. It has been a Pizza Hut, Greggs, KFC kind of week , but also a week of realisations, resilience, and BFG sized strides forward . Some days, I was on top of the world , feeling in control and smashing goals. Other days? I was one bad mood away from single-handedly funding Greggs' next store expansion. I have toiled for hours over what to cut and what to keep from this week, a...

Progress at a Glance Weight lost this week: 1.4 kg Total weight lost so far: 10.4 kg Weight Today : 149.5 kg  10.4 kg dropped since January 1st. Total water consumed: 39.3 litres (or, if we’re measuring it properly, 1,572 Sambuca shots' worth—which, if taken as actual shots, would have left me either a legend or in intensive care). Total time spent fasting: 135.7 hours, which is the entire series of Friends 1.56 times (so I could have seen Ross yell “We were on a break” at least twice). This week has been huge. Not just for the number on the scales, but for the mental shifts, the unexpected challenges, and the moments that tested me in ways I didn’t see coming. But most of all, this was the week I finally stopped hiding. Facing the Mirror – The Page 3 Edition For years, I’ve done everything possible to avoid my own reflection. Swimming in a T-shirt. Dodging cameras. Rushing to get dressed before anyone sees. Even now, with 10.4 kg gone, I still struggle. But this week, I did someth...